This ritual requires total honesty and it doesn’t work any other way. Here’s a list of conversation starters i found on Pinterest to help break the ice when incorporating these types of discussions into your dynamic…and let these questions inspire you to write down your own questions AND ACTUALLY ASK them of your partner(s). You might be surprized by what you learn…or that one quirk that you just couldn’t understand might finally make sense!ĭaddy and i had games of ‘Truth or Dare” and “20 Questions” over the phone when we were long distance and over the 2 1/2 years, every session lasted into the wee hours of the morning. No matter how long you have been with your partner(s), you can always learn more about them.
If we want change, we have to be the change we want to see. We aren’t in control of anyone or anything in this world. We are ONLY in charge of our own behavior. Why do we accept behaviors that we wouldn’t stand for concerning our friends? Why do others seem to matter more to us than we matter to ourselves? How do we break from THIS destructive and detrimental cycle? The ‘tapes’ repeat, ad infinitum, to our detriment and ultimate breakdown until we break the cycle. That type of headspace can, and usually does, lower our inhibitions and we easily drift into accepting and, indeed welcoming, unsafe and unhealthy behaviors, both from ourselves and from others. Sometimes we deal with desperation and hopelessness. We as single and/or unowned s-types have had to face our cravings for dominance, possibly also for pain, as we navigate the local and/or online BDSM communities. Its especially difficult because we are most often in a place where we feel lonely, unsure (at best) and (usually) horny when we are most in need of this type of protocol. We must be keenly aware of our patterns, our flaws, our shortcomings as well as our ingenuity, our strengths and our triumphs AND be able to express ourselves calmly, without shame or indignation. To compile these lists, we must first know ourselves and our personal intricacies very, very well. The behaviors we accept are the behaviors we receive.Īs s-types within this community, we are taught to vet all potential partners, to have lists of questions to ask…a list of limits to express, a list of desires to share, etc….at the ready for our suitor(s) and to pull them out at the perfect time, just when we’re both/all ready, without fear or apprehension and with total honesty from all involved.
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